Allow me brief rant about messing up.

Kids do it all the time. Teenagers are the lord and masters of messing up (though it makes them cringe and their face break out). By the time we get to be adults, most of us will do anything to avoid messing up because it's embarrassing and horrifying.

We hide our mistakes, we blame others, we bury the shame by swilling beer, chowing down seven-layer dip, partaking in illegal substances, watching American Idol or Real World marathons, and pulling our hats down to cover our eyes. Because we feel bad when we mess up. We feel stupid and worthless.

But to be human is to mess up a lot.

So the choice is this - you either acknowledge that you are not human, which means you are an Immortal, which means you should feel like crap if you miss a day of writing or forget to change the oil in your car or blow off a date with your best friend. You're Immortal - go back in time and fix it! And stop whining!

If you're human, then you get a little break. The trick is to be honest with yourself, get up, dust yourself off, and go at it again.

Have you missed a couple of writing days this month? Had you planned on being published by now? Were you convinced that not only would you be published by now, the movie of your book would be out and you and JK Rowling would be taking your kids to Chile to go skiing in August?

Nothing wrong with that. Dreaming is the first step. But if you've fallen a little short of your goals, do not reach for the seven-layer dip and the remote. Dust yourself off and admit what's not working. If the goal is really important to you, set another milestone (perhaps one that is a shade more realistic) and go back at it.

I have fallen way short of my running goals recently. I overtrained for the Lake Placid half-marathon and wound up with pissed off tendons and muscles in my calves and feet. I've taken almost a full month off from running to recover and I've spent about nine-tenths of that time yelling at myself. Which is ridiculous.

I"m going to try and start running again this week, but I know I need to be more balanced about my exercise. (Balance = a concept that eludes me; I usually go at a project a hundred miles an hour, then I crash and burn and wonder what went wrong.) I just bought a bike so I can crosstrain more and so my legs and feet will forgive me. I'd like to run another half-marathon in the fall, but I'm not going to obsess about it. The goal is to try and get in some kind of exercise every day, just like I write every day.

Me geeking out on my new ride.


Today's goal: Write for 15 minutes without scolding self.

Today's mindset: balanced.

Today's prompt: Take a couple of minutes to evaluate how you're doing on your writing goal for the year and if you need to recalibrate. "Write every day from now until December 31" is a reasonable, achievable goal. "Get an agent, score a four-book, six-figure contract based on this really good idea I have" is not reasonable.

Extra prompt - freewrite descriptions of clothing worn by your characters. Push for exquisite specific details about those jeans or that suit or her bra strap that tell us as much about the person as the clothes.


Scribblescribble...

Happy is the gardener who gets her plants in the ground and her tools put away before the rain starts.

I couldn't help myself. I jumped the gun this weekend. The broccoli I planted will be fine when the temperatures drop below freezing later this week. It won't bother the pansies either, though the hollyhocks are already trembling. The lettuce and peas I sowed are hardy enough to push through snow.

But I fear for the tomatoes. I put them out several weeks too early in a fit of blind optimism and while hallucinating about fresh tomato, basil, and mozzarella sandwiches. Maybe I could build them little bonfires or quick knit them all a blanket. Stay tuned....

Besides gardening (in a cloud of punkies so thick I had to work with a shawl wrapped around my head), the other fun thing this weekend was our nine-mile run around Cazenovia Lake with our Team in Training teammates. I've reached my fund raising goal and my Beloved Husband is 80% of the way there -- he only needs another $485. Our bribery offer of free books and other goodies still stands if you donate (scroll down the linked post for the details.)

Several important dates are sprinting towards us:
48 days until the Lake Placid Half-Marathon
60 days until ALA
146 days until the Philadelphia Distance Run
176 days until the release of CHAINS and my book tour (I got a preview of the tour plans last week, but I can't talk about it until the details are finalized.)

Looking backwards now:
2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 16 - Miles Run: 14.5, YTD: 329.25 (gone through another pair of sneakers!)
Week 16 - Days Written: 7, YTD: 118

This is Day 119 of 2008. We're just about one-third of the way through the year. Does that seems possible?

I love my kids, just love them.

We snuck off to PA for the weekend to see Daughters #1 and #3, as well as do some research and speak to some college classes. We ate a lot of good food, hung out with the girls and their friends, and laughed until our sides ached. They were a blast when they were babies and little kids, but I had no idea how much more fun they would be when they grew up. Life is very good.

Thank you to all the students and professors at Millersville University who made my day there so much fun. (if you are looking for a college, gentle reader, you should take a look at M'ville.)

And so.... Davidson.... ::wipes tears from eyes:: ... I guess I have to say "Rock chalk!" and summon new-found love for the Jayhawks. Let the Madness continue!!

What is the whole "rock chalk" thing, anyway? Can someone please educate me?

It's been a while since I updated my resolutions. I've had to cut back on running a little because of a very sore hamstring, but it's healing nicely. Might try to run outside today - I am really sick of the treadmill.


2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 13 - Miles Run: 10, YTD: 258.25
Week 13 - Days Written: 7, YTD: 91

Back to revision!

It's hard to believe that a year ago that I was getting ready for the TWISTED book tour, and was a nervous mess waiting for people to read the book. It's kind of weird because this week - seemingly out of the blue - I have gotten many letters and emails from teen readers about the book. Posting snippets of the letters would probably push me from blatant self-promotion into self-absorbed obnoxiousness, so I won't. But trust me, they're really nice.

I found out yesterday from my editor Sharyn that TWISTED just won some lovely recognition, but I don't think I can go public with it for another week. I'm just going to sit here and glow quietly.

TEACHERS, FYI! In the middle of May, TWISTED will be released in paperback, which makes it a perfect book for your summer reading list.

More writing questions: Do you always write chapter by chapter when you draft? Or do you ever end up with gaps in the initial draft that you have to go back and fill?

No, I don't write chapter by chapter. I generally start at what I think is the beginning and aim for what I think is the end, but those are guidelines, not rules. I always wind up with holes. Going back and figuring out what belongs in the holes is fun. The trick is to play out one of the story threads naturally, not to cram in a scene just so have something in Chapter 7. If it doesn't fit, throw it out.

How did you know it [the manuscript/book] was ready then? How did that work? ...and a related one... how long do you wait to regain objectivity before revising the first time and do you have any tricks for increasing objectivity?

I feel like I've already answered this, but I can't find the post, so I'll do it again, because it's a good question. Finding objectivity is one of the hardest things we do. I don't think any writer can ever become fully objective about her work. Putting it away for a month and not looking at it helps. Then - before you read it - give it to three trusted readers; people who read a lot for fun and respect you enough to be honest. (DO NOT give it to relatives or lovers!) Ask them to read it and write down the three aspects of the story that are working the best, and the three that are the most confusing.

Next: take a copy of your story to a new location; NOT where you wrote it. Go to an independent bookstore, a coffee shop, a park, a nice hotel lobby. Read their comments first, then read the manuscript. If you can't find anything you want to change, you're done.

Other questions, Readers of the Forest?

After today's work, I'll be packing for tomorrow's trip to Springfield, IL, where I'll be speaking at the Illinois Reading Council's Annual Conference. Are you going? This is where you can find me:

Thur. 3/13 8am: From Speak to Twisted

Thur. 3/13 11:45am: Luncheon speech

Thur. 3/13 3pm: Revision Secrets

Wednesday and Friday will be spent in airports and on planes.

2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 10 - Miles Run: 20, YTD: 218.25 (my right knee feels like it was more)
Week 10 - Days Written: 7, YTD: 70

A thread about writing popped up in the Comments yesterday. Since some people don't read the Comments, I figured it would be more useful if I responded here.

The first question was: Because of the crushing deadlines you (and many other authors) encounter, have you ever thought of an additional scene that you might have wanted to add to any of your stories after the book was finalized and sent to the printer?

No, I never think of additional scenes after the book comes out. Despite the deadline pressure, the book doesn't go out until it is ready. I've never had to ask a publisher to move a publication date, but if it came to that, I would. The integrity of the book is the most important thing.

But I have thought about putting some of the "cutting room floor" scenes on my website, after the books have been out for a while, so that fans could read them. I'm sure they would lead to interesting discussions.

The only problem is that my webmaster is already overwhelmed with work and I'm afraid if I ask for anything extra at this point, he'll move to a desert island.

Follow up question! Do you always write chapter by chapter when you draft? Or do you ever end up with gaps in the initial draft that you have to go back and fill?

I start at the beginning and stumble forward, though I usually have several later scenes in mind before I ever set down the first word. In early drafts, there are chapters that are fully fleshed out with narrative, dialog, action, and story momentum. But there are also chapters that contain only a few lines that say something like "Main Character does something profoundly stupid that sets up the consequences in Chapter 30. Also, the sub-plot with the mermaid needs to be brought up. Add imagery of seashells?"

As I move through draft after draft, I figure out if, in fact, I need the chapter in question. If I do, the scenes that carry the proper load of the storytelling kind of show up in my brain. That's the magic part. I cannot explain how that happens. It just does.

Other questions?

2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 8 - Miles Run: 24.25, YTD: 171
Week 8 - Days Written: 7, YTD: 56

44 weeks left this year.

I am dashing outside the Cave of Revision for a quick breath of fresh air. All is going fairly well. I am working long days, but love being so submerged in my story. One of the characters is now found only on the cutting room floor. Eliminating her cleared up all kinds of structural problems in the text.

Now if I could just get rid of the hamsters who have taken up residence in my lungs, life would be peachy. I am coughing like a seal with a three-pack a day habit, a seal who hangs out under the dock and steals French fries from unsuspecting tourists, a seal who works as a carnie with a traveling fair and writes rambling screeds about walrus conspiracy theories. I sound like a Seal Gone Bad.

Thanks to a generous contribution from Mary Pearson and Aliya, who contributed from England (!), I am 94% on the way to making my Team in Training fund raising goal. All I need is another $150. Will you put me over the top?

OK, the fresh air is killing me. Back into the cave I go.


2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 7 - Miles Run: 22, YTD: 146.75
Week 7 - Days Written: 7, YTD: 49

45 weeks left this year.

We got about 18 inches of snow yesterday. The Forest looks like someone painted it with thick fondant icing. I drove through a white-out down to Syracuse (where they didn't get any of the storm at all, not even a flake) so I could talk about writing historical fiction to a group of teachers.

These weary warriors had worked all day, then came to the OCM BOCES for my talk, which is part of an ongoing series for history teachers. Thank you all for your kind attention and for the pickles.

Today is a spinning plate day. I have to go over the page proofs for Independent Dames with magnifying glasses and a fine-toothed comb, work on my WIP draft, send more content to Theo for the website update, deal with old email and sneak in a run.

Speaking of running (yeah, you knew that was coming, didn't you?).... I am 81% of the way to reaching my fundraising goal for the the Team in Training Half Marathon. (The money goes to fund cancer research, which pretty much affects everyone, so share some love. Please.) I will send a copy of the TWISTED audio version to whomever puts me over the top!

And thank you, kmessner for the shout-out!

Last but not least, my daughter Stef sent along a link to an article about the increasing number of women facing sexual assault on college campuses after drinking alcohol. The article slams the researchers for their approach to the issue. Comments, anyone?


2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 6 - Miles Run: 20 (3.1 of which were rather chilly), YTD: 124.75
Week 6 - Days Written: 7, YTD: 42

46 weeks left this year.

If you wake up all night long thinking about your book, you should probably get up early and write. And change the plans you had for the day.

So that's what I am doing today.


Lake Placid Half-Marathon countdown: 132 days
Please donate to fund our race against cancer!


2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 5 - Miles Run: 20, YTD: 104.75
Week 5 - Days Written: 7, YTD: 35

Only 47 weeks to go!

Chapter 20, which has been giving me fits for days, is finally done. HA! I'm pretty sure it'll be heavily reworked in the next draft, but for now, it's good enough and I'm stoked to be moving on.

Is anyone else confused by this?

Along with the very exciting news that I get to move on to chapter 21, today is my long run day and you know what that means, right? OATMEAL! Long runs require extra carbs in the system. My carbohydrate-of-choice at the end of January in a massive bowl of oatmeal.

The fact that I am this excited about oatmeal is a little alarming, I know. But it's true.

(Stay tuned for some earth-shaking running news coming soon!)


2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 4 - Miles Run: 22, YTD: 84.75
Week 4 - Days Written: 7, YTD:28

Only 48 weeks to go!

The snow stopped, so our lake effect storm was a brief one (compared to last February). We wound up with almost four feet, but the driveway is plowed, the streets are plowed, we were able to get out yesterday afternoon. Oh, and school is open today.

In Fulton, NY, (a few towns over) the roof on the Department of Public Works garage collapsed under the weight of the snow. CNN is covering it. Sure would be nice if CNN would come back up here for the apple harvest, or the perfect summer nights when we can see the Milky Way from our back yard.

An interesting question about being a professional writer turned up in the comments section a few days ago.

mousesnovel wrote: I love how you write about the writing process in your journal. I've only found this journal a little while ago, but I'm been following the entries, and as a writer, it's really something I can relate to. Writing is so unpredictable and since I'm still just a young wannabe (I'd like to think I'm a writer, even if not a professional one), I can't even believe how professional writers can put writing's unpredictableness aside and meet their deadlines! Care to enlighten me?

By "unpredictableness" I assume you mean that we rarely feel totally inspired every single day. I sure as heck don't. But I have to write every day. First and foremost because I like it and it is good for me. Second, because by staying in touch with the story every day, the writing flows better. Third (though this one is pretty important, too), the writing pays my bills.

Any career in the arts has a simple truth attached to it: you have to do the work every day. That is how you get better.

It doesn't matter how many books I've published. I have never before written the book I am writing now. I have to respect the work and keep striving to learn more, keep searching for new tools for my work chest. If you are standing on the outside looking in, it might seem a little boring, and I admit, there are days when I long for a job that has a guaranteed paycheck every two weeks and some kind of health insurance, but the truth is, I feel incredibly blessed to be able to write stories that people want to read. That is extremely motivating.



2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 3 - Miles Run: 21.75, YTD: 62.75
Week 3 - Days Written: 7, YTD:21

Only 49 weeks to go!

I spent most of Sunday working on Chapter 17. This is the second draft, so the work was fleshing out the narrative details, making sure the action added weight to the emotional changes of the characters, and honing the dialog to be as crisp and short as possible.

By the end of the day, I was happy with what I had done.

Until I went to bed.

I crept under the covers, snuggled into my pillow, and felt the delicious tug of Dream pulling me under. And then, just then as my mind was straddling the two worlds, I realized that Chapter 17 was all wrong. No, of course he can't see that yet. It's too early. She can see it, but she thinks she's the only one. They are still very much in the dark about each other. The chapter is completely wrong.

Yesterday I spent most of the day totally rewriting Chapter 17. Again.

Was Sunday's work a waste? I used to think so. I used to get very upset when I would "waste" a day or a week going off on a plot tangent or approaching a scene from the wrong point. Nowadays, I just mutter a little and get back to work. I think I have to test out my characters, sometimes following them down the wrong path, to get to know them better and to measure the fabric of the story.

The magic moment between Wake And Sleep is when it is easiest to see.

2008 Resolution Tracker
Week 2 - Miles Run: 21, YTD: 41
Week 2 - Days Written: 7, YTD:14

Only 50 weeks to go!

How are your resolutions holding up?

I have kept my New Year's resolutions for seven days! Go me!

2008 Week 1>> Days When I Wrote for At Least an Hour: 7. YTD: 7.
2008 Week 1 >> Miles Run: 20. YTD: 20.

Finishing out the miles yesterday on the treadmill was ugly, ugly, ugly, but I did it.

Today I will try to write a million bazillion chapters while staring at the phone because my niece is in the hospital right now getting ready to have her first child. If he is born before midnight, he will share his birthday with his great-grandmother, (aka my mom) Joyce Mason Holcomb Halse, who is 77 years old today.

It has always amused me that Mom was born the same day as Elvis. Even funnier: it's David Bowie's birthday. I think the joke should start "So Elvis, David Bowie and Mom walk into a bar..." Definitely the birthday of cultural icons.

Here is my gorgeous mother about to inhale a tray of frosted brownies at her party Sunday. One of the advantages to making it to 77 is that you get eat whatever you want. Happy Birthday, Mom.